10 Arcadium commandments of the gym
The gym. To some, a place to accumulate your weekly amount of exercise and maintain good health and general fitness. But to others, the gym is a holy place. A way of life that they dedicate themselves too and here are their commandments that all must follow when stepping into the house of gains.
- Thou shall put weights back correctly
“If you are big enough to pick up the weights, you are big enough to put it back”- Ancient Chinese proverb. Anyone who has entered the gym has heard this rule yet constantly weights are found missing or in the wrong place. By putting your weights back after using them, not only are you allowing another person easy access to the weights, but you also show the gym your respect.
2. Always bring and use a towel at the gym
Another loudly preached rule is continuous using of a towel on a bench when working out to collect your victory sweat. Yet people constantly ignore this rule and fail to bring a towel to the gym or, even worse, bring a towel to the gym and do not use it. Keep all bodily fluids to yourself!
3. Blessed is thee who limits their space
They say the 7th layer of hell is for those who have committed violence and people who use two machines together at the same time. Super-setting is the one of the best ways to train multiple muscles or one muscle for a longer period of time, but there is a price to training this hard. During peak times, most machines and benches will be taken, and any person using more than one machine at a time faces the wrath of the general public. If the gym is empty, by all means, work hard. But if not, keep the space to a minimum.
4. Clean up thy space
This isn’t your room in your mother’s basement, this the gym. The house of gains. The museum of aesthetics. The city of growth. Keeping the gym clean is a must that everyone must pull their weight….. literally.
5. Cursed is the person who uses equipment for another purpose
“Don’t be that guy” – Mark to John after explaining the disrespect when doing bicep curls in the squat rack. Weights and equipment have a purpose and have to be used correctly if you want growth and strength. Make sure you correctly know how to operate a machine before attempting it, both for your safety and for correct gym etiquette.
6. Ask thy brethren if equipment is taken
This isn’t 16th century Great Britain, you can’t just walk up and grab a machine and claim it as yours. Be polite to your brothers and sisters that are using the gym as you do, and always ask around to see if anyone is using that machine. However, if someone is using a machine without a towel, their claim is forfeited, along with their rights to use the gym.
7. Only heathens save a machine for longer than 30 mins
Another rule that is more dependent of the time of when you are doing the workout, during peak times your workout must be swift and efficient as every machine is sacred. Don’t waste time chatting about the weekend or how much you can bench, get in and do the work!
8. Thou shall check thine surroundings
“Let’s do some broad jumps after heavy squats at 6am”- People who disrespect the gym. The gym isn’t a McDonald’s playground therefore you shouldn’t play on its grounds. Keep explosive exercises in an area that is designed for those types of movement, and watch out for your peers.
9. If thou are uncertain, use a spotter
One of the greatest achievements a devote gym follower can achieve is to lift heavy for all those to behold. Achieving a massive lift is indeed glorious, however the worst event that can occur is failure whilst not having a spotter, and meekly calling for help to a random stranger. Safety is most important whenever lifting, so ask your brethren for a spot.
10. Only the God of the gym knows all
Everyone has given gym advice in their lifetime and there isn’t anything wrong with that. The problem are the heretics that state that they know all and try to overrule the teachings of other gym goers and even personal trainers. It is said that only Arnie is blessed with all knowledge, and unless you are the God of aesthetics himself, remember to keep your ego in check.